


Ghosts

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ghosts, Halloween angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A very short, sad story for Halloween. Some manga spoilers.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> A very short, sad story for Halloween. Some manga spoilers.

No one who only knew him from his life as a soldier would ever have described Levi as a drifter, but there was a time, after he’d escaped the path other people had always told him he was destined to follow, and before Erwin had set him on a new one, when he’d wandered almost as aimlessly as this. Even back then, though, barely out of childhood and alone among the perils of the underground city, he had never felt this directionless, this lost.

He moved from room to room, noting the cobwebs, the accumulated dust lying five years deep on the sills and the lintels, the steps to the cellar, the table at which he remembered waiting for Erwin, his leg injured beyond immediate use. Perhaps that was when their plans had started their slow unravelling?

Eren had been there, too, Levi remembered, full of the kind of regret Levi had tried to warn him against.

_No one ever knows how things will turn out. All you can do is make the choice you think you’ll regret least._

But in the end, Levi had been unable to follow his own advice, knowing, even as he’d turned away from Erwin and thrown himself into that final battle, that he would always wonder what might have happened if he’d stayed…

Petra looked round from polishing the leaded windowpane and smiled at him, her face pale in the moonlight. “Captain,” she said. “I’ve nearly finished here.”

Levi cleared his throat, something catching there – dust perhaps? “That’s – good.”

Petra nodded, her eyes as bright as they always had been. “Shall I do the kitchens next?”

“Yes,” Levi heard himself replying. “Thank you, Petra.” He looked towards the heavy oak doors, remembering Erwin entering through them, bringing half the recruits of the 104th with him, along with the news that Annie was almost certainly the female titan.

When Levi looked back at the windows, Petra had already gone. Strangely, her vigorous polishing seemed to have had little impact on the grimy glass.

Levi wandered out into the courtyard and found Eld pulling dandelions from between the flagstones. He looked up at Levi, his smile, at least, still warm. “Captain! We’re making progress, but it’s going to be a long night!” Levi followed the direction of his gaze. Suspended on his gear, half way up the gatehouse wall, Gunter gave a cheerful wave before he returned to cleaning the windows of the upper floors. Levi raised his hand, recalling Farlan in Gunter’s gesture.

Oluo was sweeping the stables, looking, as ever, as though the task was beneath him. When he saw Levi, though, he drew himself to attention and saluted, his expression brightening. “Captain Levi, Sir! Almost finished…”

“Good work,” Levi said anyway, although Oluo’s broom seemed to have made no impact on the dirt. Levi’s voice was very low in the cold night air. “Carry on, Oluo.”

Upstairs, in the room where Eren and Petra had once stood gossiping about him, Levi wandered over to the open window and looked down into the moonlit courtyard.

“A real castle!” Isabel exclaimed behind him. When he turned round, she was perched on a wooden crate, swinging her legs, grinning at him. “It’s better than that old fort we stayed in outside the walls,” she said. “Remember? Hange gave me cookies?”

“I remember. Isabel –” But Levi found that he was talking to an empty room, Isabel’s bright laughter only an echo in the air.

Finding himself alone in a corridor, Levi thought that he might as well join in with the cleaning operation. He found a cloth in a cupboard somewhere near the kitchens, where he could hear Petra humming to herself as she worked. Levi smiled, and started on the dusting.

The night wore on. Levi was aware of the others near by – Isabel plaguing Farlan about something, Eld calling to Gunter, Oluo making some boastful comment to Petra who only laughed with pretended scorn, and real affection. Levi focussed on his own work, polishing the tables in the living area, finding comfort in the task. He had almost finished when familiar footsteps behind him made him turn around. Hange and Eren were approaching, followed by Erwin. The oak doors, slightly ajar, revealed a strip of grey dawn light.

Hange nodded at Levi. Eren smiled. “Erwin thought you’d be here,” he said.

Levi’s eyes were fixed on Erwin. Hange laughed.

“We’ll be able to catch the sunrise from the tower window,” Hange said to Eren. “Come on. Let’s leave them to it.” She winked at Levi as she passed him, Eren in tow. “We’ll see you later, Levi.” Hange and Eren disappeared into the castle. Levi held Erwin’s gaze for a long moment, then turned back to his cleaning, wiping away the last streaks of dust from the table top.

“Levi,” Erwin said.

Levi frowned. “What is it?”

He froze, as Erwin’s hand rested on his shoulder. “You can stop now,” Erwin said. “It’s all done, Levi.”

Levi looked up at him; turned, slowly, to face him. Erwin reached out to touch Levi’s cold cheek.

Levi turned his head, and kissed Erwin’s palm. “I can touch you!” he whispered, a terrible hope in his voice. “If I just stay here –”

“No, Levi. It’s almost dawn. And you have to go.”

Levi’s smile was bleak. “That’s what you said then, too.”

“It is. And it worked, didn’t it? We won… But there are still things that need doing, before we can both rest. Won’t you trust me this last time?”

Levi sighed. “Yes. I’ll trust you, Erwin.”

“Thank you, Levi.” Erwin looked towards the door. The light was brighter now – golden. “Go on,” he said, gently.

Levi looked into Erwin’s eyes, and bowed his head gravely. Erwin smiled. Levi walked towards the doors, the light streaming through the gap, almost unbearably bright. Levi walked into the light, aware only of Erwin’s steadying presence behind him.

 

“Armin thought I’d find you here,” Mikasa said, as Levi emerged from the castle. Her expression was hard to read – something that ran in the family – and Levi was glad of that, now. His own eyes were wet – the morning sunlight had been blinding as he’d pushed open the door and come out into the courtyard – and, anyway, he wouldn’t have known what to do with pity, even from her.

“Then Armin was right, as usual,” Levi said, mounting his horse, not looking at Mikasa again. “It’s a useful trait in a commander.”

“Yes, it is,” Mikasa agreed, turning her own horse and falling into position almost alongside him, just keeping far enough back that she couldn’t see his face directly. Levi was grateful, again, for the unspoken understanding between them. “You don’t need to worry,” he said, looking only ahead. “I won’t leave like that again. The future Erwin dreamed of isn’t here yet. Those of us left behind… well, we may have defeated the titans, but we still have a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, Sir,” Mikasa replied, relief just audible in her tone.

Levi urged his horse into a canter, Mikasa following, the two of them heading out along the road, leaving the old castle to the quiet, sunlit morning, all its ghosts departed - empty, now, of everything but the softly resettling dust.


End file.
